The day after I was robbed, I heard from Deacon Campbell, “Pastor Wolff, we want you to come out tonight…. We just want to see you!” Companions and calls were continuing their streaming across my consciousness. A conversation with a good friend over a glass of wine, telephone calls from self-appointed adopted children, even my favorite part-time-thief parishioner offered to personally scour the local pawn shops, by telling me, “I’ll find it boss!” All of them wanting assurances that I had not mysteriously skipped town. My own children referred to this as my followers making "calls to the godfather."
But I too was in need of assurances, so I followed Deacon Campbell’s lead. I came out that night to the YMEN (Young Men’s Educational Network) season kickoff. I went to the garage, the scene of the crime, but this time after raising the garage door and before pulling out- I looked both ways down the alley. Was anyone coming? As I parked the car at church I saw a couple unfamiliar black teenagers approaching me on the sidewalk… I looked twice…stepped away and waited for them to pass. I caught myself….what’s this about? I figured I had graduated this stereotyping class. I walked into the church…. Jason, Antwaan and Connie were welcoming people behind the table at the top of the stairs…. I walked up a little slower-rethinking these intrusive thoughts. Anxious, interfering thoughts were nothing new for me…but in this arena they were. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME….I’M THE PASTOR HERE- the boss! The gymnasium was full, 40-50 African-American young men, gathered to celebrate and look forward to another new year of hope and expectation for mentoring, discipleship, and top-notch trips. The YMEN staff- Kareem, Marcus, CJ, Connie, Karen, Victor, Juan, Antonio, Deacon Campbell, and Xavier, …all came with words and arms extending and embracing me. I pulled back, “Oh don’t hug me too hard- I’m still sore.” They responded in chorus. “We are glad you’re alright” and then a directive, “and you know you are more important than any old computer!” I knew that, but I needed to hear it- again. I took my stand that evening when introduced, “Pastor Wolff, from the Lawndale Christian Reformed Church.” I was proud to be a pastor-more particularly proud to be this community’s pastor. Getting robbed and being a pastor contain common ground. Both require one to let go. Let go of my tenacious propensity to be in control –something I obviously failed miserably on with the thief as I was dragged down the alley all the while stubbornly clinging to my laptop. My learning curve (despite or maybe because of a Doctorate degree) as a pastor hasn’t been much better. Yet even though I may be slow and in many ways after 30 years just getting started, the call from Deacon Campbell to come out….and to trust that God really dwells in the people of this community that he has provided for me. As I was leaving from the church that evening, Deacon said, “Where are you parked?” “I’m right here in the parking lot”….. he walked me outside to my car….something I had done by myself a thousand times before. But it felt better to do it together. The learning curvature of community challenges my pastor’s preference of doing it my way. I am reminded that I still need more calls from “Deacons” to teach me to trust that the community-God’s community-in the end holds me up. Now if I could only learn to cling to them as tightly as I did to my computer. Well, as I mentioned- I am just getting started!
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